Some background facts:
• Reality television saw an explosion of global popularity starting in the early 2000s. Two reality series – Survivor and American Idol – have been the top-rated series on American television for an entire season. Survivor led the ratings in 2001–02, and Idol has topped the ratings three consecutive years (2004–05, 2005–06, and 2006–07). The shows Survivor, the Idol series, The Amazing Race, the America’s Next Top Model series, the Dancing With The Stars series, The Apprentice, “Fear Factor” and Big Brother have all had a global effect, having each been successfully syndicated in dozens of countries.

• In 2007, according to the Learning and Skills Council, one in seven UK teenagers hopes to gain fame by appearing on reality television. “Jaded”. The Economist. January 27, 2007. pp. 57

• In April 2008, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences announced it will give its very first Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program on September 21. “Reality television has become such an integral part of television and our culture, so it only made sense for us to create this new highly competitive category,” TV academy Chairmen and CEO John Shaffner said in the announcement.

• Inspired by the success of American Idol, Indian TV channel Sony Entertainment Television (India) launched the Indian version called Indian Idol. In 2009 Season 4 concluded.

Reality TV is here to stay, whether we like it or not. Even if we loathe it, most of us have watched some of the exploits of contestants going through some grueling exercise and wonder what entices them. Well money, a trophy, a job, celebrity status to name a few. But more importantly what makes so many of us feel so glued to their actions and reactions to the circumstances they put themselves in day after day, week after week? The pull for most of us is that it shows us human behaviour in the raw so to speak and as observers it makes for riveting viewing. No-one could have predicted how hooked people can get to being observers of human behaviour (something we do naturally anyway) and yet the number of people entering psychology as a profession has quadrupled in the past 20 years which should explain why we are obsessed with our own and others’ behaviours.

Why can watching reality tv be good for us?

1. Well, firstly, we get to see others’ actions and reactions to challenging situations first hand. It’s safe, comfortable and we can loathe and / or love the contestants from a distance depending on whether we agree or disagree with their way of acting and reacting – we can shout, taunt, mock and praise and cheer at them from the comfort of our own settees. If we get emotionally involved, as in, bothered by their behaviour it can be cathartic i.e. liberating our emotions, even the ones we usually keep bottled up which is far better than reacting negatively to the ones we are with.
2. Secondly, we use their predicaments whether it’s to cook up a two-course meal in 40 minutes or lose 5 kgs in a week, or have worms crawling over their faces as proof that ordinary people can do extraordinary/new/strange things. Watching them can help us to stop thinking about our problems as insurmountable and instead start to see them as challenges without the elimination process! In short, seeing others’ having a go can helps us to triumph over our own biggest fears and gain something quite useful – courage!
3. Thirdly, and perhaps very significantly we can see that there may be only one winner but in essence none of the contestants are failures, they merely had a go, were prepared to put themselves on the line and see what happens. This is to be applauded regardless of the type of show they are in especially considering the constant observation and judgment of them. Their efforts can teach us that failure is subjective and as such doesn’t mean anything. Especially if we look at it from the standpoint of having a go as opposed to looking at it from the standpoint of the judge and jury, it can propel us into trying new things / persevering in the face of our doubts, concerns, fears etc. Essentially watching reality tv can help us gain some good insights into ourselves and others if and here’s the big IF viewed sensibly.

So, why is it bad for us? Reality TV has an addictive quality which by its nature keeps us wondering what will happen next, who will leave, who will stay, the next challenge and the next and before you know it, your evenings are all taken up with the adrenalin rush of what next.

It’s a problem because being in a state of anticipation can be fun but when it stops you from doing things that enhances the quality of your life, like any addiction it turns bad. If at the end of the whole series you feel quite flat and end up pining for the whole thing to start up again, you need to have a serious chat with yourself as to why you need to be bothered about others’ awesome adventures as opposed to having some adventures of your own.

It’s a classic psychological flight into fantasy (flight as opposed to fight reaction), which, is easier than dealing with anything as real as our own problems.

Let’s face it, zoning out occasionally can helps us to come back to our problems with a fresh ‘head’ so to speak, but when the zoning out takes up all our free time it can have the most devastating of effects, inaction! We cannot escape our own problems permanently as much as we would like to because inevitably they lead to bigger problems, dissatisfaction with our lives to name one.

The other negative relates to the need to judge others’ behaviour. Again fun to do when the person is not in front of you and you can be the voyeur without any backlash but what if all the judging doesn’t end with the programme. We can all judge eachother but at which point do we accept that people are the way they are and that includes us. The issue is that most of us like to think that we are good at judging others but the truth of the matter is that we are in no position to really judge.

We cannot possibly know the potential of another regardless of how they appear in any given situation. We almost always accept that the situation in which the behaviour was portrayed as suggesting something about that person but whatever is gained is only relevant for a similar situation at best and at worst cannot predict what that person would do in any other given situation.

The idea that a person is predictable makes assumptions that put us in a bubble of our making and keep us from the truth. Everyone can be inspired to do things differently and no one can predict which way a person will go and that mystery is best kept a mystery, its what separates us from the animal kingdom and allows us to be in the driving seat of our lives always. The biggest problem is that when we do the judging to ourselves (based on all the ways others have said things to us) we can end up believing our limitations even though all is just a ‘make believe’ story. It has no roots in truth. The only truth is that we can decide at any given moment to steer our ship in a different and better direction.

Bon voyage!

This blog post is intended to help awaken your possible UNAWAREness of how your thoughts, reactions, actions can affect or dis-affect your life with potentially damaging consequences. Things such as pursuance of endless dead ends, meaningless days, unfulfilling relationships and the pit of the stomach feeling to name a few…

Simple Truth: No one has the amazing power to make you feel anything – be it misery, sadness, annoyance, anger or even happiness, joy, gratitude etc., except U, of course.  Simple yet most of us don’t get it because we are UNAWARE of why we react and how good it is to STOP.

Let’s just take a look at how we fail to understand that simple truth.

You know that you are UNAWARE if you are living out your life with sentences that start with:

‘I should, I must, I ought to or, I don’t have to, don’t want to and can run away from’ …and are having one or more of the following experiences on a regular basis:

1. Rows with loved ones and strangers alike
2. Criticising others (only seeing faults)
3. Angry outbursts even over little issues
4. Jealousy attacks
5. Blaming others and never yourself
6. Unable to find a sense of peace within
7. Cry and feel it will never stop
8. Feel numb and indifferent with the people around you
9. A gnawing feeling that life has passed you by
10. A sense of unease, restlessness
11. Don’t know how you feel in any given situation

Experiencing UNAWARE means that we give away our power, our love, our energy, our purpose, our strength, our courage, our gifts to others. The only antidote is to become AWARE. This type of UNAWARE behaviour means that our reactions have a separate root cause which usually cannot be accessed simply by asking the person WHY.  Essentially you are not in control and have allowed unhappy past experiences to dictate how the future has to be.

Why bother to become AWARE?

Well simply put the consequences of carrying on in the same vein are dire to you mainly because the sense of well-being can never occur until what is hidden becomes revealed and no longer saps you.  Here are some examples:

Example 1: Projecting your pain onto others might make others suffer for a little while but you will suffer MORE by being UNAWARE of what to pursue in your life and making your destiny dependent on having people to inflict pain on,

Example 2: denying yourself your dreams, aspirations etc., might make others have a more comfortable life as you cater to their never ending needs but end up paralysing their ability to develop courage to do more and sap up the energy you need to have a more AWARE life.

Example 3: Blaming everyone else for how life has turned out for you might feel like a relief now but doesn’t change the facts that Nothing Can Move On Without YOUR energy!

So there we have it, now that you know all the above there are no excuses, nowhere to hide!  If you identify with the above, you have been caught out!  Don’t forget the ones on the receiving end can see if even if you can’t! Doing something, anything other than living on an auto-pilot of negativity is vital to your being here amongst us on this planet and of course beyond if you can connect to that but more vitally it is about your everyday YOUness.  Don’t waste it!

To find out more on how to identify your UNAWARE ways and live an AWARE life, contact Dr Caroline, today!